Lusty grabs another from the mailbox

From: Apadravia
To: Lusty

How do you become a part time sex worker?

Great question, Apadravia! It's quite easy, as a matter of fact. Here's a an easy step-by-step guide to help you along on this journey:

1. Start off by deciding in college that you'd like to become a humanities major, preferably earning your B.A. in something incredibly non-marketable like English, Philosophy, or Women's Studies. Even something like Communications or Art History will do.
2. Post-graduation, search frantically for a job, any job, that pays over $10 an hour and that has health insurance.
3. Once you realize that this is impossible in the post-9/11 economy, settle for a retail job that pays you nearly the same hourly wage you were making before you spent tens of thousands of dollars on a college education.
4. Get depressed about #3, gain weight, watch lots of cable.
5. Over the course of a few months, deplete your savings, rack up credit card debt, repeat #3.
6. Ruefully move back in with parents, take another crappy job with a terror of a boss, continue to repeat #3.
7. After a year of enduring this special kind of hell, get fed up with living at home and current crappy jobs, look for jobs in another city, find one, and move out.
8. Take new job that pays a lot better and has health insurance, but realize that you still can't pay your damn bills.
9. Rack your brains for get-rich quick schemes. Play lotto several times before realizing that this is not an acceptable nor realistic way to pay off credit card debt.
10. Browse Craigslist one day, find the "Erotic Services" section, realize that you can make staggering amounts of cash in relatively short amounts of time for spreading your legs.
11. Answer emails of men looking for sex, screen clients, meet them, do the deed, and collect your cash. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Hope that helps!*

*But if you're actually serious about this, there are countless other web and print resources out there for would-be sex workers, Apadravia.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home