When your teeth sank deep into my skin for the first time last night, it was such sweet release. I remember feeling suddenly and alarmingly soft, like you were pushing yourself all the way into a dark under-layer of me.

This encounter was so unexpected. Just two days ago, my heart was broken by my love, our relationship ended quickly with a cold sleight of harsh words. And just a few weeks ago, you and I were mere acquaintances.

But last night, you took me with the kind of force and passion that I hadn't dared to ask or hope for from my love in too long. In the morning sunshine, I look over the beautiful bruises that dot my neck and thighs and smile. If I lick the roof of my mouth and close my eyes, I can still taste you in my mouth. I catch my breath when I think of how intently our eyes fixed on each other while you twisted your whole hand in and out of me, roughly and with exquisite care. Last night, I needed to be hurt and desired in equal measures.

You told me I wasn't as tough as I had come off in our pre-sex exchanges. It was true. At first, I could barely hold myself up on two legs or even on all fours. I was high with lust, and I couldn't even begin to try to pretend I didn't want every single slap and kiss. By the end of our time together, I felt like the girl who got to have her cake and eat every single fucking delicious bite of it, too.

Today, I spent in much of a confused daze, the weird mix of glee and deep sadness both battling it out for my attention. And as I begin to come down from the post-sex high, I can feel the pain of my lost relationship start to come back to me in fresh waves. It didn't go anywhere last night, but a pause button got pressed, and it was such sweet relief to be taken somewhere else for a few hours. So, I can't help but thank you and whatever luck or fate brought us together last night for giving me something I had no idea I needed so badly.


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