Although we haven't seen each other since our first encounter, things have been progressing with MM.

He's an interesting man, that one. Unlike nearly all of the casual hookups I've had, MM is interested in my brain and when we interact, is also kind of sweet and attentive. I guess that those factors mean that this technically isn't in the "casual hookup" category, but the English language doesn't have a term that I like to describe the thing that happens in between casual sex and dating. "Friends with benefits," an annoying and grossly misused term in the land of sex and dating, does not adequately describe this as we were never friends first. My usual standbys, suitor and gentleman caller, to me imply that there is an interest and a trajectory toward something more serious, and that is clearly not the case. Perhaps the old-fashioned "lover" would suffice, but I can't bring myself to say it without a snort and a giggle.

MM and I have been emailing each other every day, often multiple times a day. Sometimes to try and coordinate our ridiculous schedules, sometimes to flirt, and often just to talk about how our days went. We gchat a lot too, sometimes to talk dirty, but often to have actual conversation as well. I had kind of forgotten how nice it is to have that person to whom you report back to about your day, even if it's only to say that not much happened. My close friends serve that function as well, but there's something kind of nice about having that with someone with whom you also flirt.

Despite this daily checking in, we have rarely spoken about his wife, mostly because I haven't inquired. And I actually kind of don't want to know. I know that he's happy in his marriage, that she doesn't know about his affairs, and that he doesn't see a big conflict between his love for her and his extramarital carrying on. The other details I just kind of make up in his head, like what she does for a living, how often they have sex, what kind of sex they have, and how he acts around her when he's thinking about me.

I've mentioned it before, but it's worth repeating that I know that engaging in all of this pseudo-intimate interaction is flirting with danger, but I'm enjoying myself so much that the benefits are still outweighing the risks.


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