Pee Pee Platter, Part I

Back in the days before my own personal sexual kinkification, I used to make lots of jokes with my high school friends about "bizarre" and, at the time, seemingly hilarious sex acts like salad tossing and golden showers. To us, these were the craziest of crazy things that we thought people might do, and as such, we turned our discomfort into humor. Of course, as karma dictates, since I had made fun of them, I was bound to brush up against (so to speak) these pastimes in my own life.

Entreé Mr. Licky. He was my first real-time client after the long hiatus from sex work post bath-time with Mort. I met him on (where else?) craigslist, answering his ad claiming that he wanted to pay a woman to lick her pussy. I had been browsing the sexual services section for awhile, and this one seemed easy enough as a gentle entry into the industry. I quickly answered his ad and we began to make arrangements to meet at a hotel room nearby both of us. Mr. Licky had plans the afternoon that we were to meet up, so we negotiated the price for a half hour of kitty chowing and I got ready for our meeting. I had also directed Mr. Licky to the website that I pose for so that he could see more pictures of me before our meeting.

I got dressed, unsure of what to wear, being that the meeting was in the late morning at a hotel room. I settled on some sexy black lingerie with a suggestive, but professional outfit overtop. I parked in the hotel parking lot and called my safe person to let her know that I had arrived. As I passed by the cleaning staff on the way to his room from the lot, they gave me the "I know exactly why you're here" look. I ignored them and began up the stairs.

When he answered the door, we greeted each other with a hug and a cheek kiss. Mr. Licky was an average heighted, white man probably in his early 30s with glasses and sandy blonde hair. He had a slight pudge and was thoroughly average-looking. He mentioned that he had gone to the website and exclaimed that I seemed "too cool" for him. Funny, I thought, because he was the one paying me. But I thanked him anyway and walked into the room. He admitted that it was his first time patronizing a lady-for-pay, but I didn't acknowledge that it was my first time too. I didn't want him to prey on my naïveté.

I asked Mr. Licky if he preferred that I undress myself or if he preferred to undress me and he indicated the former. I removed my clothes, attempting to be sexy, but probably failing, and he complimented me on my choice of lingerie. I removed that too and he ordered me to bend over the bed. Now, before I begin to explain what happened next, I should tell you that as I mentioned earlier, Mr. Licky had requested a girl to go down on in his ad. During the course of our email exchanges, he had mentioned that his girlfriend found oral sex "weird" and didn't like to do it. I understand that some women might be uncomfortable with or embarrassed by their partners going down on them (due to lots of cultural myths about women being "smelly" or bad tasting "down there," etc.), but I couldn't fathom of anyone besides a Mormon or a virgin or a Mormon virgin thinking that it was something that out of the ordinary.

Anyway, so here we are, me bent naked over the bed, and Mr. Licky crouched behind me, getting ready to go for the gold. But, instead of placing his tongue on or in or anywhere near my vagina, he went a little farther north and landed in my asshole. I nearly jumped I was so surprised. It was a good thing that he couldn't see my face, because my eyebrows shot up in an A-HA! expression. So that is why his girlfriend was weirded out, I thought. I myself had never been rimmed, but wasn't opposed to receiving it, if that's what he wanted to give. The sensation was nice, though it did nothing to arouse me in any way. After a few minutes of that, Mr. Licky asked if I would suck him off. We hadn't agreed to that, but I didn't mind. For another two or three minutes, I licked his small, but very hard cock. He moaned in approval and told me again how sexy I was. I smiled and thanked him with my eyes and my tongue. Mr. Licky asked if we could fuck. I paused for a moment and said sweetly, "We can do anything you want, but that's not what we agreed to beforehand. It'll be extra for that." He asked me for a price and rushed to his wallet for the money once he consented to the fee I named.

He came quickly, the condom fattening with liquid. The sex was very short; four minutes at most. I stopped, swinging my leg over his so that I could lie beside him. We made attempt at small talk for a few minutes, me stroking his chest and trying to keep up the feigned interest. Finally, he began to get dressed and I followed suit.

I kissed him on the cheek on my way out and walked quickly to my car with a wide grin on my face. On the way out, the cleaning staff gave me another look of judgment, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe how easy it had been. Mr. Licky was polite, kind, paid what I asked him, and extremely appreciative. I was high on how much money I had earned for such easy work. I was hooked. Thus began my truimphant re-entry into the world of pussy for pay.